Results tagged ‘ Swisher ’
I should say defining embarrassment as well, to cover the Mets’ display of talent this series, but that’s too easy.
Manuel, I pity you.
- Another night Mets escape errors, but the bonehead moves were still in abundance. Reason New York has another team = sheer entertainment.
- Wang finally picks up his first win in over a year and no one cares because Mo’s the story.. tough.
- Randomness.. Wanger needs a sick haircut. Swish could probably come up with something good, but this would be pretty hilarious.
- How ’bout that sarcastic cheer for Castillo every pop-up in his own ballpark? I repeat: The guy is never coming back from that.. Bright side? Blooper/Oddity Of The Year [whatever TYIB Awards wants to call it this year] is his, hands down.
- I shouldn’t put it this way, but.. Robbie, cut the crap. I realize A-Rod’s new found “leave it all up the next guy” tactic [also referred to as taking the walk] has been putting the pressure on ya lately, but Alex wasn’t spared the sympathy, so Cano, figure it out.
- Sorry to put it so bluntly but could someone tell me the worth of Hideki Matsui?
- Closer vs. closer, bases loaded, 3-2 count… and a walk to force in a run. Classic. As a wise man once said.. “It couldn’t have happened to a better guy on the mound.”
Beast Of The Ball Game:
500th save and an RBI to boot. Can’t touch The Sandman.
Mo, thank you for being a Yankee.
On Deck: Joba on the mound, following a solid start in Atlanta, to face Brandon Morrow, currently transitioning back to the starter role, for Seattle. Make it 6 straight.
P.S. For your Off Day Boredom Relief, what Godzilla should consider doing:
[Not what he did on the first pitch.. Matsui is already doing a lot of that.]
P.P.S. Must quote the ever classy Mo from the ESPN interview shown after the game because it defined the man..
When asked about chasing Trever Hoffman, Mo’s response:
“I play the game because I love it.. I don’t chase records, period. I don’t play for records. I play for the New York Yankees.”
When asked about PED’s..
“I don’t even drink coffee.. If the talent that God has given me is not enough, well I have to quit. When I leave this game, I know, deep in my heart, deep in my mind, that I was clean.. Nobody can point a finger at me.”
Semi rounding up this past week [rather randomly]:
- Baseball is funny. Exhibit A [B, C, D and especially E]:
The New York Mets. At this point I really don’t know if I should
further their embarrassment.. but I’m going to anyway. *Virtual
bowdown* to the art form of losing they’ve developed. First Luis
Castillo’s epic failure, and now 3 errors in an inning by all
infielders but Luis Castillo.. irony at its best.
- I live for interleague play. Because of it, a pitcher
did the honor of knocking the other out of a game, the big man became
an offensive threat and Mariano, the Sandman, Rivera put on a batting
helmet and hit it hard. I’m seriously thinking the Yankee arms could pinch hit in non-interleague games, if necessary.
Mike Gonzalez is a ginormous weirdo. How does he not get the slow play
fine for his windup alone? It’s like a minor rain delay every pitch. [And like we haven't had enough of those..]
- A-Rod.. glad to have you back. [And I'm not just talking about your bat.. back to women that don't have biceps bigger than yours is a good sign.]
- It’s pretty clear right now that Joe G. is going to play the hot bat to handle the
outfield situation. That currently has Swish sitting out.. [for last
night at least.] What does the Red Bull Manic do on the bench? Sharpie his bat. Classic Swishness.
Happy belated to the Capt’n. Don’t know if he’s in the lineup tonight,
but if he isn’t.. jeezus, Peña makes a hell of a backup. If he is, the
Mets are the perfect opponent to kill the funk.. considering he hasn’t driven
in a run in two weeks, since last facing the blue & orange. DJ’s
cologne bottle is just laughing at him. Yeah, double plays aren’t fun to
ground into, but imagine how fun they are to watch. [Funny how the move to leadoff was supposed to solve that problem huh?] [That didn't quite
turn out to be the Happy Birthday I had in mind..]
- Brett The Jet = Beast. Yeah, the kid has legs.. but 5-6, with a homer at Citi? Beware the beast.
Yours truly is officially a high school graduate. [I'm as surprised as you are.]
Now which Yankee wants to sign my yearbook?
P.S. R.I.P to the man that gave the world P.Y.T.
P.P.S. Will live-blog it tomorrow, for the last game in this interleague road trip. Hope all stop by for the ESPN bashing at least.
Here’s a radical concept for ya.. stress-free baseball..
I don’t know how the Yanks managed to follow a series that ended exactly the way it shouldn’t
have with a game that went exactly the way it should [despite no A-Rod,
no DH, a limping Capt'n and youth, their weakness, on the mound for the Marlins],
but thank you.
- First on the agenda.. Alex.
Right about now, I would question/criticize Girardi’s overdue move to
finally bench A-Rod like everyone and their mother understandably was doing tonight, but I took a second to digest it.. and I’ve come to
the conclusion that Joe G. really has zero say in when Alex Rodriguez
does or does not play. Given the fact that Alex’s ex-wife stayed as
long as she did with him, despite his multiple acts of infidelity made public, and
the fact that A-Rod still scored a hefty contract with the Yanks,
despite all threats given by the organization that he would, under no
circumstances, be dealt with after the opt-out ordeal.. it’s pretty
obvious Alex is quite a persuasive dude. Girardi may be the manager,
but when A-Rod says he’s playing, he’s playing.. and apparently, when he says he isn’t, he isn’t. As for A-Rod’s timing.. pretty clear he’s attempting to limit his chances to choke in front of his family.
- Sean West, sorry you had to be the kid the Yanks realize they need to tee off against, but tough luck.
Andy with a great outing and a double and ribbie to boot. Got my dose
of hilarity watching him round the bases.. and so did the bench:
I seriously love interleague play.
- Probably obvious, but LandShark Stadium is weird and massive, and sounds like someone should sell naming rights.
- Swish needs to double up his intake of Red Bull.. and fast.
Been a while since I could look forward to the 8th inning and it’s
infinitely great to have a guy who can do his job back in the bullpen,
but who’s the bright guy giving Brun physical appearance advice? Going
baldy and now the porn star ‘stache? Really? Look, Big G barely pulled it off last year. Though the “Support The ‘Stache” campaign and ‘Stache Day
at the stadium was pretty funny.. it’s been done man. Tattooing Macho
Man on your forehead would probably give you more cool points.. Just a thought.
In other news, Papelbon attempted to make things clear today regarding
one of his many trivial attempts to make headlines, this time
surrounding his willingness to play in pinstripes when his contract
expires, by stating “I don’t want to go (expletive) play for the
Yankees”.. Haha, like we’d ever let him.
On Deck: A.J. on the mound tomorrow to face Josh Johnson, who’s sporting a stellar 2.76 ERA and 6-1 record to match. Pitching duel?
And this was how to enjoy it:
[Excuse the misguided Mets fan yelling let's go Rays.. He's mentally ill.]
[And yeah.. we celebrated Damon's shot with Freddy! =)]
Who’s heading into [and leaving] Boston with sole possession of first place?
First off, was there a 5-Hour Energy promotion before the game I didn’t
know about? [Because there should be..] Because the crowd was pretty
pumped last night. The wave went through the entire stadium literally 4 or 5 times straight [despite how corny it is].. Your Quick Bit of Hilarity: When standing up and sitting down and the greatest thing in the world becomes synonymous.
- For the record.. Swish’s bomb? Called it [approximately
10 seconds before the pitch was thrown to be precise].. I must be
somewhere near 7 out of 10 this season now. Finally getting that career
prediction average over the Mendoza Line..
- How about that jet stream?
- Teixeira = beast beast beast beast beast.
- And let the
Joba Hughes bullpen/starter debate begin..
- With the entrance of Mo: “Why everybody clapping?” [I swear, there's always that one person..]
- Upon noticing a friend was cheering for anything..
Me: “Who are you even rooting for?”
Friend: “I don’t even know.. I’m going for the Lakers.”
- Same Friend: “What quarter is this?”
- Same Friend: “How many points they have? Three right? Three points baby!!”
- “Haha.. B.J... Who would name their child B.J. [Upton]?”
- With crowd yelling “Hugheees”..
Friend: “Why are they booing?”
Other Friend: “So that way they can like strike him out.”
- Me: “SoOoOo, enjoyed the game?”
Red Sox Friend: “Watch.. tomorrow man..”
On Deck: Another Boskees series.. beginning with Burnett and Beckett.. Hmm.. loving this match-up.
P.S. Just re-watched Swish’s innerview that aired on the pregame a couple of days ago.. Swish’s response to what he’d do during a rain delay: “I love naps” Me too, my friend.. me too.
Seriously, what does Leche eat for breakfast?
I know this level of clutch doesn’t come in a Wheaties box.
Felt cheated going to a game with Jeter sitting it out on the bench,
but the “W” when it was all said and done just about changed my mind.
I swear, only in Yankee Stadium would two guys randomly show up in real
St. Louis Cardinals jerseys to a game between the Yanks & Rangers.
- Wang.. thought you were back for a good two innings.
I’ve made a change to my dream job. I now want to be the guy on the
four-wheeler type vehicle that has the dirt sweeper attached.. Couldn’t
tell if he was purposely driving circles in the infield or just had a
few too many beers along with some of the fans, but that dude looked like he
was having a ball.
- The little bromance revealing itself with Mark & Alex strangely has puts a smile to my face. Talk about a tag team.
- Swish is the funniest.
Today, Johnny Damon = beast. The guy really doesn’t even need both
hands.. I honestly feel the ball is just bruised every time he smacks
On Deck: Tampa heading into town for a four game set and the first matchup just so happens to showcase the big bear double half a squiggly versus the David Price. The kid got his first major league win last week.. Shall we give him his first loss?
Friend of mine picked up a couple souvenirs with a towel used by Hughes
[and a practice ball] tossed by a random guy still in the ‘pen after
the game. Don’t know why Hughes needed it on the bench, unavailable
today, but apparently he was sweating for Wang. A bit of advice: Axe
body spray Hughes.
- [Regarding the above].. After getting a good whiff following lifting the towel to his face [reminiscent of something NSFW].. other friend uttered these words: “It smells like man.”
Recent Hilarious Happenings:
-The latest 6 year old temper tantrum in baseball thanks to Carlos Zambrano:
When will they ever listen to Jimmy Dugan?
P.S. Despite the modern twist, with a beverage machine instead of water cooler, Paul O’Neill still takes the cake when it comes to smashing.
- My realization of why Warner Madrigal makes me giggle inside:
Tell me you see the resemblance.
The return of Toronto’s incompetence. The Blue Jay team has finally
dropped out of first and have begun their decline, which was clearly
highlighted by a stellar effort yesterday. Halladay going 7, leaving with a 5 run lead and still a loss? That is more like it.
- Cash’s trip to the mound last
night that lasted all of two seconds, in which no words were exchanged.
Picking up the rosin bag, dropping it and jogging back? Classiiic. The look on A.J.’s face? Priceless.
.. which no doubt would’ve gone well with this screencap of “The Teixecutioner” at work:
For anyone wondering.. ^that^ is the first step to crushing a baseball.
- CC, Swish and some of the other guys heading to the NBA playoff game in Cleveland tonight, according to Bryan Hoch. Cavs must win with the boys in the building.
Seriously.. what would it take for Veras to disappear? With the way the
Yanks work, the only answer I can muster is.. improvement. Veras
apparently learned a valuable lesson from Nuke LaFarnsworth.. continue
to be an epic failure and you’ll keep getting the ball. Start getting
guys out and they’ll up and ship you to Detroit.
Unfortunate to see Melk out of the lineup for at least the next few
days, but Brett The Jet never ceases to amaze. The legs on Speedy
Gardzalez makes baserunning seem like a sport all its own.
Saltalamacchia’s rainbow-esque display of his name on his back is
chuckle-worthy enough.. but Flash’s struggle with pronouncing it gave
me another good laugh.
- According to Pete Abe, Posada will be activated tomorrow..
- An update: Tex = beast.
Yanks were tied for first before the Sox unfortunately won their game
today.. but I’m thinking Yanks claim sole possession real soon.
Pettitte facing Cliff Lee tomorrow in a game I won’t see because it’s
Prom night, so I hope Andy will mow ‘em down while I’m watching people do idiotic things.
In The Hole: I’m hoping continued dominance from double half a squiggly.
Off The Bench: Hughes taking on he who must not be named.. Would love to see some retribution this time.. but more importantly.. Must see him stub his toe or someone drive a ball at him.. No way Cleveland gets to have him for a full season either..
P.S. I was randomly watching women’s college softball on ESPN today [no idea why] but upon stating that one of the female players was a “loyal Seattle Mariners fan”, one of the analysts actually said “you’d kind of have to be loyal to be a fan of Seattle”.. burrrnnnn.
coming off 6 consecutive games falling into the win column, lucky
number 7 would not come without your highness bringing the good fortune
[..just sayin'], so I made an appearance.. Check the picz I
took from the ballpark:
- ‘Bout damn time I go to a game this season where the weather ain’t feces.
- Brun must
get the hookup from Alex a.s.a.p. and tan that scalp.. going baldy
wasn’t smart to begin with but physics 101: skin’s pigment will not
darken where hair was once covering it.. just sayin’ [that probably had
nothing to do with physics..]
Andy Pettitte was my very first autograph.. the guy is the greatest..
and has one set of pex on him. Also got my very first baseball from
Edwar.. though it was actually caught by my friend next to me 2 seconds
before it would’ve hit me in the face because I wasn’t paying attention
for a split second.. For anyone who follows me on Twitter [which you should], you’ll know I’ve been a concussion waiting to happen this week.
- Phil Coke is a funny dude.
- I doubt anyone is keeping score, but put another one on the board for me, as I utterly called the Texual healing homer.
Mariano’s entrance will forever stir goosebumps, but CC’s came
dangerously close to touching it today. I don’t know the song he walked
to the mound to, but the beat and the swag from C-Sab got me pumped.
- A-Rod = beast.
- [Two seconds before the start of God Bless America] “Hey take your hat off you damn terrorist!”
Hughes making another start [possibly his last if Wang is coming back]
facing Jeremy Guthrie. Would love it if that whole 8 run thing that
happened last time he faced the Orioles didn’t happen again. Try and make it 8 wins instead eh?
In The Hole:
- Two words: Joba. Huff.
P.S. Yeah, I’m cool with security like that..
P.P.S. He’s still the coolest, but Swish should definitely whip out the unmetaphorical bad boy, Thunderbolt. Screw the fine. Hit it into outerspace.. or.. to anywhere besides a fielder’s glove [if you didn't already know that the other uniforms aren't what you aim for].. Just sayin’..
If three back-to-back-to-back wins don’t have the power to break in this new stadium.. nothing does..
[excluding a WS championship, which I'm unashamed to say I'm fully expecting]..
- I could get used to this walk off thing.
- JD, who I will call Bamm Bamm because he utterly clubs it like Barney Rubble’s boy, is ama-za-zing.
- A.J. needs to send me a pie [preferably to my doorstep and not my face].. I honestly want to know if he makes them himself.. Either way, anyone else find it odd how incredibly intense the dude comes off as on the field and yet he’ll still throw a pie at a guy? It’s like pondering the thought of Jorge wearing clown shoes. Hmm.. I wonder if Posada would ever let A.J. catch him with a pie.
- A-Rod is 5-29 since his return.. 3 of the 5 = home runs.. 10 games, 7 RBI’s. Difference between A-Rod hitting .172 and Tex hitting near Mendoza line = Alex is timing them pretty well. Nice of Tex to finally break out yesterday though. Keep it up?
- What I probably praise more of Teixeira for the game yesterday, rather than the 4 hits and 4 RBI’s, is the fire [which he really displayed in Gomez's direction]. Though being cool under pressure has been commendable of him despite the criticism, boos and this less than satisfactory start to the year from him, it wasn’t exactly working. Maybe, in Tex’s case, emotion is needed.
- Speaking of, do new reporters become utterly uncreative when it comes to Joba that they feel they must reprint the same stories? The fist pump isn’t disappearing and it has no reason to. Though Huff felt he should give Joba a dose of his own medicine two series ago [sorry on the lateness w/ this], give it a rest. Joba never intentionally shows up anyone [which is why Huff should get two to the back, for both times he acted like an a**] and why should he control his natural emotion when he gets a big out? So that no player gets his feelings hurt? I know the steroids have lessened the manlihood downstairs of some fellas, but seriously, kill the sensitivity. P.S. Must be the con of being a Yankee.
- I realize I’m writing this post in no order whatsoever, but must point out CF monster tag team that is presenting itself with Melky & Brett the Jet.. Playing both of them would be luxury, but I’m satisfied getting as much we can from what the competition will brew.
- Probably missed a lot [and probably said this before], but lastly, the team chemistry is something special this year.
Random Note: I just despise Justin Morneau.. perhaps more than Carlos Friggin Peña..
On Deck: Eggo waffles and Frosted Flakes man Andy Pettitte [said on Yankees On Deck that was his breakfast growing up.. and mine =)] taking the hill in the final game of this series against Glen Perkins. The goal is the sweep.. but the real goal is full embarrassment.. Twins fans: truely sorry.. and as a sympathetic gesture I will give you a very valuable piece of advice: don’t even turn on the TV tomorrow..
In The Hole: CC starting off the next series versus the O’s on Tuesday [and I'm attending] and though I would love to see Huff take a heater to the ribcage, the umps might be as idiotic as the one that tossed Lackey, so save it for the later innings ; ) Or.. bring in Veras for that.. they would undoubted assume it’s his control [or lack of it].
P.S. Will likely host an live in-gamer ma-jig for the game tomorrow [which will be both on YES and ESPNothing but crap].. so let me know who’s up for it.
get wrapped up in ditching class, trying to find time to sleep,
agonizing over the 5 game losing streak [that was just snapped
tonight], being lazy overall and this is what happens:
Re-Defining “Performance Enhancing Drugs”:
Talk about insane timing. I was considering just reusing my last ‘roid post title “Baseball Is A Dirty Rag That Just Can’t Enough” for this new bombshell, but I realized that just didn’t do the job for me after reading this:
two sources said the substance Ramirez tested positive for was a
gonadotropin. Major League Baseball’s list of banned substances
includes the gonadotropins LH and HCG, which are most commonly used by
women as fertility drugs. They also can be used to trigger testosterone
production. Testosterone is depleted by steroid use, and low
testosterone can cause erectile dysfunction.
and similar drugs are effective for erectile dysfunction in that they
jazz up your sex drive,” said Charles Yesalis, a professor at Penn
State University who has testified before Congress on issues of
performance-enhancing drugs. “But far more clinicians accept that
affect with Viagra and Cialis. It’s hard for me to understand if it was
erectile dysfunction why they would use it.”
physician with experience in international drug-testing said LH and HCG
are occasionally prescribed for men “whose testicles have basically
what Manny tested positive for wasn’t exactly a steroid or human growth
hormone, it is said that “HCG is used to re-stimulate the testicles,
primarily in men with a history of steroid use”.. But if the fact that
Manny’s “performance”/testicular problems is now plastered everywhere doesn’t give you a good laugh, you need a sense of humor.
But, in all seriousness, HFS. [Hey friggin soos.] This game will never be rid of this. Never.
Take a game that encompasses picking statistics down to the bone, toss
in a fistful of tainted numbers and some tablespoons of doubt, stir exhaustively and
I guarantee you will no longer know what you’re eating / being stuffed down your throat.
The Return Of That Dude At Third Base:
talk about insane timing.. and not just on that first swing tonight.
The day after the Manny news is released and is handed a 50 game
suspension and hell of a fine, A-Rod plays his first game of the
season, after spending April and the first week of May on the DL
following some steroid news of his own over the offseason. So how does
First pitch.. first swing.. first homer.
Gods can be pretty big a-holes some times, but they kind of know how to
script these things. A tad optimistic here, but would be too much to
ask for this beginning to lead to a storybook ending? [Yeah, I know..]
Paid Vacations In Abundance:
Oh how pinstriped boys love the DL…
let me get this straight.. even the backup guys aren’t safe? Cervelli
better have some magic in him.. though I think we’d all no choice but
to settle for a decent job behind the plate and whatever he manages to accomplish in the batters box.
- Double half a squiggly
was A-mazing in this win. Reason why the opposition was held scoreless
in this one: the bullpen never got a chance to screw it up. Thought a
tweet by HTBP was pretty funny:
“We usually say the game is over when Mo comes in, now we can say the
same thing of our bullpen.” However, judging by the two long balls he
served up the other night and the fact that Joe G. is admiting he’s
having arm strength issues.. maybe no one can be a guarantee on this team’s ugly pen.
- Speaking of those back-to-back smacks off Mo.. does Joe G. have a set of functioning balls on him or what? Pulling out the Sandman in the middle of the 9th? Haven’t seen that since… time out, has that ever happened?
Uh.. I don’t even remember what else I wanted to say, but I refuse to
reflect much on those 5 knife stabbing losses before tonight, so I will
just say that let’s forget the problems and get moving in the right
direction [and avoid the bullpen at all costs].
On Deck: Hughes taking the mound to face Adam Eaton at 7:05 looking deliver an additional stellar outing to keep things on track.
Swish is still awesome. Really cheered for that ejection the other day.
The umpiring the entire homestand was ridiculous and someone needed to
curse one of those umps out. I would’ve did it myself when I went to
the Boskees game on Tuesday but my ejection wouldn’t have be so awesome
and would’ve been a total waste of a ticket.. so I winded up settling
for just yelling really loud, losing my voice, sticking it out through
the rain, developing a sore throat and being an hour and a half late to
school the next day instead.
I will likely deny this later, but I may have a slight new found respect for
Pap.. yeah, the Jonathan Papelbon.. though solely because of his response to the
Manny news in this interview:
Props.. However, I will continue to loathe him full force on the field.
there was a rain out and I didn’t feeling writing up a post after the
streak snapped yesterday, thought I’d do some promoting.
Vote Swish As A Write-In For The All Star Game!
[25 times for each e-mail address you've got, 'cuz I know you have more than one.]
Because [as Jeffrey P pointed out]
he plays OF & 1B, pitches [awesomely], hits with power and in the clutch, tweets,
and does interviews with no shirt on.
What more of a reason do you need?
Tweet it/Blog it/Spread it like Swine Flu. Make sure he’s in the OF July 14 in Mizzo.
P.S. Oh, and Jeet, Cano & Posada too.