May 2009
Off Day Boredom Relief
Recent Hilarious Happenings:
-The latest 6 year old temper tantrum in baseball thanks to Carlos Zambrano:
When will they ever listen to Jimmy Dugan?
P.S. Despite the modern twist, with a beverage machine instead of water cooler, Paul O’Neill still takes the cake when it comes to smashing.
- My realization of why Warner Madrigal makes me giggle inside:
Tell me you see the resemblance.
-
The return of Toronto’s incompetence. The Blue Jay team has finally
dropped out of first and have begun their decline, which was clearly
highlighted by a stellar effort yesterday. Halladay going 7, leaving with a 5 run lead and still a loss? That is more like it.
- Cash’s trip to the mound last
night that lasted all of two seconds, in which no words were exchanged.
Picking up the rosin bag, dropping it and jogging back? Classiiic. The look on A.J.’s face? Priceless.
Sweet Shizz:
- The new bleacher tee graphic by Bald Vinny made because “”Teix Message” is F’n Stupid”:
.. which no doubt would’ve gone well with this screencap of “The Teixecutioner” at work:
For anyone wondering.. ^that^ is the first step to crushing a baseball.
- CC, Swish and some of the other guys heading to the NBA playoff game in Cleveland tonight, according to Bryan Hoch. Cavs must win with the boys in the building.
Side Notes:
-
Seriously.. what would it take for Veras to disappear? With the way the
Yanks work, the only answer I can muster is.. improvement. Veras
apparently learned a valuable lesson from Nuke LaFarnsworth.. continue
to be an epic failure and you’ll keep getting the ball. Start getting
guys out and they’ll up and ship you to Detroit.
-
Unfortunate to see Melk out of the lineup for at least the next few
days, but Brett The Jet never ceases to amaze. The legs on Speedy
Gardzalez makes baserunning seem like a sport all its own.
-
Saltalamacchia’s rainbow-esque display of his name on his back is
chuckle-worthy enough.. but Flash’s struggle with pronouncing it gave
me another good laugh.
- According to Pete Abe, Posada will be activated tomorrow..
- An update: Tex = beast.
-
Yanks were tied for first before the Sox unfortunately won their game
today.. but I’m thinking Yanks claim sole possession real soon.
On Deck:
Pettitte facing Cliff Lee tomorrow in a game I won’t see because it’s
Prom night, so I hope Andy will mow ‘em down while I’m watching people do idiotic things.
In The Hole: I’m hoping continued dominance from double half a squiggly.
Off The Bench: Hughes taking on he who must not be named.. Would love to see some retribution this time.. but more importantly.. Must see him stub his toe or someone drive a ball at him.. No way Cleveland gets to have him for a full season either..
P.S. I was randomly watching women’s college softball on ESPN today [no idea why] but upon stating that one of the female players was a “loyal Seattle Mariners fan”, one of the analysts actually said “you’d kind of have to be loyal to be a fan of Seattle”.. burrrnnnn.
Blowing Out A Candle Without A Breath?
Yeah, it’s possible.. Have two teams with powerful offenses go head to head and a blowout as a result is not so surprising.. However, one in which the winning team did not smack a single ball over the fence?… Who knew…
Check out the beauty of a box score:
19 hits spread throughout the lineup [none of which were of the long ball variety], 11 runs [none of which scored via the long ball], and 4 RBI’s by the king of the long ball [none of which were a result of the long ball].. surprising, and yet good stuff.
Side Notes:
- Brun heading back to disabled list after only one appearance. I hate to throw he who must not be named into the air, but I must say.. you’ve just about used up your DL tokens for the year Bruney. Hope you figure out the problem.. and don’t suffer any bruised buttocks in the process.
- You can obviously partly attribute the turnaround by Tex to the return of the guy hitting behind him, but Marky is now getting hits [and homers] off broken bats.. That is all his amazingness [and hopefully not that of banned substances]..
- Didn’t write about the games these last few days, but bringing up Melky’s magic here is necessary. The Walk-Off Wonder Boy has been putting on a show. Someone should really change the scoreboard and make it the 9th for his every at-bat.
- Bowing down to the performance of Hughes right now. Holding the Rangers to 3 hits, allowing merely one walk, over 8 innings? Definitely WWE belt worthy [and apparently Phil wasn't afraid to flaunt it.. doing post-game interviews with the belt on his shoulder.. haha]..
- I reiterate: A-Rod = beast.
On Deck: Joba on the hill again following the less than an inning outing he made versus Baltimore after being hit with a liner. He faces Kevin Millwood in the second game of this series with my second favorite team [though, sorry, Yanks get 99.99% of my love]..
P.S. I’m all for honoring the soldiers who’ve fallen and America itself.. but caps the color of red? Really? Sure, it goes with white and blue on the flag.. but not with the Yankee uniform.. just sayin’..
Bringing The [Metaphorical] Thunder
Though
coming off 6 consecutive games falling into the win column, lucky
number 7 would not come without your highness bringing the good fortune
[..just sayin'], so I made an appearance.. Check the picz I
took from the ballpark:
Side Notes:
- ‘Bout damn time I go to a game this season where the weather ain’t feces.
- Brun must
get the hookup from Alex a.s.a.p. and tan that scalp.. going baldy
wasn’t smart to begin with but physics 101: skin’s pigment will not
darken where hair was once covering it.. just sayin’ [that probably had
nothing to do with physics..]
-
Andy Pettitte was my very first autograph.. the guy is the greatest..
and has one set of pex on him. Also got my very first baseball from
Edwar.. though it was actually caught by my friend next to me 2 seconds
before it would’ve hit me in the face because I wasn’t paying attention
for a split second.. For anyone who follows me on Twitter [which you should], you’ll know I’ve been a concussion waiting to happen this week.
- Phil Coke is a funny dude.
- I doubt anyone is keeping score, but put another one on the board for me, as I utterly called the Texual healing homer.
-
Mariano’s entrance will forever stir goosebumps, but CC’s came
dangerously close to touching it today. I don’t know the song he walked
to the mound to, but the beat and the swag from C-Sab got me pumped.
- A-Rod = beast.
Crowd Quote(s):
- [Two seconds before the start of God Bless America] “Hey take your hat off you damn terrorist!”
On Deck:
-
Hughes making another start [possibly his last if Wang is coming back]
facing Jeremy Guthrie. Would love it if that whole 8 run thing that
happened last time he faced the Orioles didn’t happen again. Try and make it 8 wins instead eh?
In The Hole:
- Two words: Joba. Huff.
P.S. Yeah, I’m cool with security like that..
P.P.S. He’s still the coolest, but Swish should definitely whip out the unmetaphorical bad boy, Thunderbolt. Screw the fine. Hit it into outerspace.. or.. to anywhere besides a fielder’s glove [if you didn't already know that the other uniforms aren't what you aim for].. Just sayin’..
Asking For Four Pushing The Envelope? MIN @ NYY 7:05
With the past three games in the Bronx all resulting in a Yankee win of the walk off variety, please excuse the cockiness and/or confidence [whatever you want call it] as I say, damn, I wouldn’t mind seeing one more.. [though I would settle for anything resulting in another W and a Crazy Stein if I must].. Check in here for another in-gamer for the last game of this series with the Twins [who'll probably heading out of New York in rush after it's over.. and I wouldn't blame them].. Join in on the chinwagging even if it’s to virtually heckle at the Yanks [all fans welcome] or to simply express your distaste for ESPN [as we could probably have fun all game doing that]..
Game Time: 7:05 p.m. ET
<a href=”http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php?option=com_mobile&task=viewaltcast&altcast_code=d9d0d9c3be” >Game 38 MIN vs. NYY</a>
Call It “Home” Yet?
If three back-to-back-to-back wins don’t have the power to break in this new stadium.. nothing does..
[excluding a WS championship, which I'm unashamed to say I'm fully expecting]..
Side Notes:
- I could get used to this walk off thing.
- JD, who I will call Bamm Bamm because he utterly clubs it like Barney Rubble’s boy, is ama-za-zing.
- A.J. needs to send me a pie [preferably to my doorstep and not my face].. I honestly want to know if he makes them himself.. Either way, anyone else find it odd how incredibly intense the dude comes off as on the field and yet he’ll still throw a pie at a guy? It’s like pondering the thought of Jorge wearing clown shoes. Hmm.. I wonder if Posada would ever let A.J. catch him with a pie.
- Though his bat has lost it’s thunder recently, he still has a sick hair cut. Swishhawk is awesome.. Haven’t seen Bruney with his hat off yet, but shaving off your entire head? Not so awesome.
- A-Rod is 5-29 since his return.. 3 of the 5 = home runs.. 10 games, 7 RBI’s. Difference between A-Rod hitting .172 and Tex hitting near Mendoza line = Alex is timing them pretty well. Nice of Tex to finally break out yesterday though. Keep it up?
- What I probably praise more of Teixeira for the game yesterday, rather than the 4 hits and 4 RBI’s, is the fire [which he really displayed in Gomez's direction]. Though being cool under pressure has been commendable of him despite the criticism, boos and this less than satisfactory start to the year from him, it wasn’t exactly working. Maybe, in Tex’s case, emotion is needed.
- Speaking of, do new reporters become utterly uncreative when it comes to Joba that they feel they must reprint the same stories? The fist pump isn’t disappearing and it has no reason to. Though Huff felt he should give Joba a dose of his own medicine two series ago [sorry on the lateness w/ this], give it a rest. Joba never intentionally shows up anyone [which is why Huff should get two to the back, for both times he acted like an a**] and why should he control his natural emotion when he gets a big out? So that no player gets his feelings hurt? I know the steroids have lessened the manlihood downstairs of some fellas, but seriously, kill the sensitivity. P.S. Must be the con of being a Yankee.
- I realize I’m writing this post in no order whatsoever, but must point out CF monster tag team that is presenting itself with Melky & Brett the Jet.. Playing both of them would be luxury, but I’m satisfied getting as much we can from what the competition will brew.
- Probably missed a lot [and probably said this before], but lastly, the team chemistry is something special this year.
Random Note: I just despise Justin Morneau.. perhaps more than Carlos Friggin Peña..
On Deck: Eggo waffles and Frosted Flakes man Andy Pettitte [said on Yankees On Deck that was his breakfast growing up.. and mine =)] taking the hill in the final game of this series against Glen Perkins. The goal is the sweep.. but the real goal is full embarrassment.. Twins fans: truely sorry.. and as a sympathetic gesture I will give you a very valuable piece of advice: don’t even turn on the TV tomorrow..
In The Hole: CC starting off the next series versus the O’s on Tuesday [and I'm attending] and though I would love to see Huff take a heater to the ribcage, the umps might be as idiotic as the one that tossed Lackey, so save it for the later innings ; ) Or.. bring in Veras for that.. they would undoubted assume it’s his control [or lack of it].
P.S. Will likely host an live in-gamer ma-jig for the game tomorrow [which will be both on YES and ESPNothing but crap].. so let me know who’s up for it.
In Retrospect
I
get wrapped up in ditching class, trying to find time to sleep,
agonizing over the 5 game losing streak [that was just snapped
tonight], being lazy overall and this is what happens:
Re-Defining “Performance Enhancing Drugs”:
Talk about insane timing. I was considering just reusing my last ‘roid post title “Baseball Is A Dirty Rag That Just Can’t Enough” for this new bombshell, but I realized that just didn’t do the job for me after reading this:
“However,
two sources said the substance Ramirez tested positive for was a
gonadotropin. Major League Baseball’s list of banned substances
includes the gonadotropins LH and HCG, which are most commonly used by
women as fertility drugs. They also can be used to trigger testosterone
production. Testosterone is depleted by steroid use, and low
testosterone can cause erectile dysfunction.“Testosterone
and similar drugs are effective for erectile dysfunction in that they
jazz up your sex drive,” said Charles Yesalis, a professor at Penn
State University who has testified before Congress on issues of
performance-enhancing drugs. “But far more clinicians accept that
affect with Viagra and Cialis. It’s hard for me to understand if it was
erectile dysfunction why they would use it.”Another
physician with experience in international drug-testing said LH and HCG
are occasionally prescribed for men “whose testicles have basically
stopped functioning.”“
Though
what Manny tested positive for wasn’t exactly a steroid or human growth
hormone, it is said that “HCG is used to re-stimulate the testicles,
primarily in men with a history of steroid use”.. But if the fact that
Manny’s “performance”/testicular problems is now plastered everywhere doesn’t give you a good laugh, you need a sense of humor.
But, in all seriousness, HFS. [Hey friggin soos.] This game will never be rid of this. Never.
Take a game that encompasses picking statistics down to the bone, toss
in a fistful of tainted numbers and some tablespoons of doubt, stir exhaustively and
I guarantee you will no longer know what you’re eating / being stuffed down your throat.
The Return Of That Dude At Third Base:
Again,
talk about insane timing.. and not just on that first swing tonight.
The day after the Manny news is released and is handed a 50 game
suspension and hell of a fine, A-Rod plays his first game of the
season, after spending April and the first week of May on the DL
following some steroid news of his own over the offseason. So how does
it enfold?
First pitch.. first swing.. first homer.
Baseball
Gods can be pretty big a-holes some times, but they kind of know how to
script these things. A tad optimistic here, but would be too much to
ask for this beginning to lead to a storybook ending? [Yeah, I know..]
Paid Vacations In Abundance:
Oh how pinstriped boys love the DL…
Seriously,
let me get this straight.. even the backup guys aren’t safe? Cervelli
better have some magic in him.. though I think we’d all no choice but
to settle for a decent job behind the plate and whatever he manages to accomplish in the batters box.
Other Shizz:
- Double half a squiggly
was A-mazing in this win. Reason why the opposition was held scoreless
in this one: the bullpen never got a chance to screw it up. Thought a
tweet by HTBP was pretty funny:
“We usually say the game is over when Mo comes in, now we can say the
same thing of our bullpen.” However, judging by the two long balls he
served up the other night and the fact that Joe G. is admiting he’s
having arm strength issues.. maybe no one can be a guarantee on this team’s ugly pen.
- Speaking of those back-to-back smacks off Mo.. does Joe G. have a set of functioning balls on him or what? Pulling out the Sandman in the middle of the 9th? Haven’t seen that since… time out, has that ever happened?
-
Uh.. I don’t even remember what else I wanted to say, but I refuse to
reflect much on those 5 knife stabbing losses before tonight, so I will
just say that let’s forget the problems and get moving in the right
direction [and avoid the bullpen at all costs].
On Deck: Hughes taking the mound to face Adam Eaton at 7:05 looking deliver an additional stellar outing to keep things on track.
P.S.
Swish is still awesome. Really cheered for that ejection the other day.
The umpiring the entire homestand was ridiculous and someone needed to
curse one of those umps out. I would’ve did it myself when I went to
the Boskees game on Tuesday but my ejection wouldn’t have be so awesome
and would’ve been a total waste of a ticket.. so I winded up settling
for just yelling really loud, losing my voice, sticking it out through
the rain, developing a sore throat and being an hour and a half late to
school the next day instead.
P.P.S.
I will likely deny this later, but I may have a slight new found respect for
Pap.. yeah, the Jonathan Papelbon.. though solely because of his response to the
Manny news in this interview:
http://player.theplatform.com/ps/player/pds/u0lMosxXzi&pid=8lf5kxnddRMjs4iDc7D_InQKy2Iud_tk
Props.. However, I will continue to loathe him full force on the field.
Swish For ASG
Because
there was a rain out and I didn’t feeling writing up a post after the
streak snapped yesterday, thought I’d do some promoting.
Vote Swish As A Write-In For The All Star Game!
[25 times for each e-mail address you've got, 'cuz I know you have more than one.]
Why?
Because [as Jeffrey P pointed out]
he plays OF & 1B, pitches [awesomely], hits with power and in the clutch, tweets,
and does interviews with no shirt on.
What more of a reason do you need?
Tweet it/Blog it/Spread it like Swine Flu. Make sure he’s in the OF July 14 in Mizzo.
P.S. Oh, and Jeet, Cano & Posada too.
Who Needs A Bail Bondsman?
.. when you have a get out of jail free card for the bullpen [specifically the worthless Jose Veras] that looks like this:
Anyone looking for my live reaction from the 8th on [and another accurate prediction], check it:
We need A-Rod in the lineup because? *Major applause for Peña..*
Errrt.. screeching halt on the comeback.
Alby? Seriously?
Did Alby just pitch a 1-2-3? My eyes must deceive me. If that truly just happened, there is no way we can lose this game.
Tex didn’t K? I repeat: There is no way we can lose this game.
Hip Hip Mother Eff-n Jorge!!
Didn’t even record an out in the 9th.. say whhatttt. Gracias Fuentes. =)
Classic. Unbelievably satisfying win.
Side Notes:
-
Though I will mildly criticize him and point out the eery trend showing
regarding pitching performance vs. who’s behind the plate, I can not say
enough how much I miss Jorge’s bat in the lineup. ’08 may have not been
such a nightmare had Posada been healthy.
-
You know things are definitely heading in the right direction when the
team that gives the Yanks hell do what they usually do [come back when
the Yanks have a solid lead] and the Yanks still pull off a win. Me like.
-
However, probably the most shocking thing about this game was not the
comeback itself, but the fact that it was done without King of New
York, Nick Swisher, who came out of the game after taking a pitch to
the elbow. After the game, when told by Kim Jones “Girardi
says he’d be surprised if you can go tomorrow”, the definition of
awesomeness said in response: “Let’s see if we can surprise him.” I
take it isn’t serious.
- Fact Of Baseball:
Sometimes it’s okay to be glad of an injury.. such as that of Cody
Ransom. If he had not hit the DL, Ramiro Peña [a.k.a. the guy that
knows how to bring it] would still be riding the bench, instead of
putting on a show. Great job by A-Rod’s backup’s backup.
-
Trying not to bash because he got on base to start it off in the 9th,
but Tex’s average couldn’t look any uglier. He’s trying but, it isn’t good enough. He had said it best after Monday’s loss
to Detroit: “I’m here to produce, not have good at-bats. Good at-bats don’t do anybody any good.” [Yeah, Yogi-esque.]
-
Oh, and the C&C boys are baaaaack. Robbie has been hot since day one and now Melky is officially giving Gardner a run for his money.
On Deck: Speaking of a double dose of half a squiggly, the big man CC is taking the mound for a Saturday afternoon game facing Matt Palmer. 5 straight?
P.S.
I can’t tell who it was but Hilarious celebratory dance by someone Joba [thanks for the confirmation Level] in
the dugout after the Posada homer in the 1st. You can see the hilariousness at the :10
ish mark here.
P.P.S. I don’t care how much they play it during the game, I can’t get enough of this commercial:
P.P.S. Dear Tampa Bay Rays: Thanks. You go from worthless to first place last year and now the Canadians think they can do it too. Look what you’ve started.. If the Nationals manage to even begin to come close to playing over .500 this year, I swear the fabric of baseball will completely tear.
At Last, The Tides Have Turned
.. and the world has restored itself to it’s former glory:
^This is more like it.^
Side Notes:
-
I honestly can’t believe nothing went completely haywire in this game.
An upset has been almost guaranteed every night when playing this damn
team.. and yet, no problems. Has to be a sign from above. Tides have definitely turned.
-
Boston.. as flattering as it is, you really can’t be the Yanks. Van
Every may also be sporting a 0.00 ERA, but he’s no Nick Swisher. =P
-
Though Ramiro Peña did his job in this game [unlike the guy who started off
at 3B this season], A-Rod can’t come back fast enough. The bats got it
done, but one is still holding hands with the Mendoza line. Tex needs
the original “failure with RISP / booed at home & away” guy, A-Rod, to
absorb some [or a lot] of the pressure.
-
Speaking of ‘roid boy.. more news came out about.. what else? A-Rod and
steroids. Right about now, I really don’t give a damn. Just as A-Rod is
about to return, low and behold, it hits the fan that used steroids in
high school and with the Yankees. Could it be any more convenient? What I’d love for Selena Roberts to explain is how he managed to use them while in a Yankee uniform
and yet not fail a single drug test since ’03. Also on the list of things I’d also love her to do is 1.) disappear, 2.) attempt to deny her obsession with him so I can laugh, and 3.) use her excellent reporting skills to go research the top 5 most unoriginal book titles of all time, because I can guarantee hers is on it. “A-Rod”? Really? Best you could do? You know, you didn’t really have to be afraid that we’d actually expect you to write about anything other than #13.
- In continuing to talk about this game though, I must take the time to highly praise The Melk Man for his performance. Leche has a lot of fight in him and is finally wreaking havoc again.
- However, I must not praise the Yankee execs who have obviously not gotten it right yet.
On Deck: Pettitte
facing Jered Weaver tonight looking to keep the train moving [hopefully
right over the Angels these next two games and the Red Sox the next two
after that]. Won’t be satisfied until this winning streak hits.. 172..
or the Yanks puts up some lopsided numbers in the two game set with the
idiots Monday & Tuesday. Payback is calling.
mlblogsflairforthedramatic
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